


Sacrifices

by SpicyCheese



Series: Pieces [1]
Category: Lost Girl
Genre: Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Friendship, Gen, More character death?, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-23 20:17:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1578170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicyCheese/pseuds/SpicyCheese
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amidst accepting her fate, Kenzi considers what it means to be brave and who will take care of take care of Bo after she's gone. </p><p>Spoilers for 4x13... and everything else too I guess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sacrifices

**Author's Note:**

> So, originally, I wrote my story "Nothing" as a one-shot, from Tamsin's prespective. Then I started thinking about the whole story line and how interesting it would be to see it from other characters' prespectives. So I have a few differnt stories that I'm throwing together as a "series". They can be read together, or alone. This is the first one of that series. Hope you like it :)

Kenzi has been running as long as she can remember. She left home so young- when her mom chose the abusive boyfriend over her- and had been running ever since. She did what she had to do to get by, whatever was necessary to keep herself alive and safe. She shut the world out and just kept moving. She didn’t even realize how long and hard she was running until she met Bo. Bo, who had been running for so long, too. They realized they were so much alike and together they were finally able to stop. To stop moving. To stay put for once. Andthey’ve had each other’s back ever since. It’s been four years now.

 _Four years, but it feels like always. It feels like we’ve always had each other_ , Kenzi thinks _. I wish we always could.._.

That’s what Kenzi thinks about as she discretely drops her ring- Hale’s ring- in Bo’s pocket. What she thinks as she hugs Bo goodbye for the last time.

Kenzi has known for a while now. She put the pieces together easily enough- she _is_ the brains behind her and Bo’s private investigator buisness after all. Besides, it doesn’t take a genius to put together the rhymes and riddles and Norwegian lore to realize what it was she has to do. That she will have to sacrifice herself, _Bo’s heart_ , to save Bo and the rest of the world.

However, it’s one thing to understand something and quite another to actually _do it_. And to do it right. So Kenzi’s been alert, keeping her eyes open, waiting for that right moment. For when it has to happen. That’s why she’s following Tamsin now, letting the Valkyrie look for a ‘safe place’ for Kenzi to stay during the battle. She’s biding her time, waiting for that moment.

The pair are quiet, weaving their way through the crazy horse cult people’s compound, up staircases and through corridors. Kenzi is thankful for the silence- she needs time to digest it all.

She’s surprised how calm she is. She never thought of herself as brave and since Bo came back she’s had a hard time even feeling useful… but _he_ changed all that. He woke her up, made her realize that bravery wasn’t about shutting feelings down.

Looking back, she can see it now. She had survived so much growing up, and hadn’t even known how alone she was until Bo found her. She knew Bo felt the same way too- that she’d finally found a family. It wasn’t until she met Hale though, that she really learned what she was missing- what that shutting down to survive had cost her.

 _Hale_. She whispers his name to herself, and it keeps her moving. He taught her that bravery was about opening yourself up, about being vulnerable to love and life and embracing it. She bites her lip and wills the tears back thinking about being in his arms, _Hale’s arms_ , and how she finally gave herself over to love, even for that short while. She had never realized, until him, what bravery really was. Never imagined that she could ever be that brave and never imagined that being vulnerable and open to someone was exactly what she needed.

 _Turns out, the thing you want, isn’t always what you need. And the thing you need, isn’t always what you expect, I guess_ , she thinks.

As they pass spider-webbed corners, Kenzi smiles sadly over this, thinking of Bo. Since Kenzi’s known her Bo has always been searching for the kind of love she _thinks_ she needs. First Dyson- his unwavering devotion to Bo was so complete it was almost overwhelming. But then his Love was taken away and after that it was never quite the same.  Then Bo went with Lauren- who clearly loves Bo, but lets her head get in the way; always making plans that she thinks are in Bo’s best interest, often without consulting Bo. And then there was Rainer. Kenzi’s pretty sure their relationship was based on a sense of purpose rather than love. Another person doing what _they_ thought was best for Bo.

Kenzi smiles. She has her own theories on the subject of Bo and love, and what she felt her bestie needs. That’s why she’s currently letting the young Valkyrie lead her away, when she knows perfectly well that she'll be heading back into the fray as soon as Tamsin leaves her.

 _Oh, Tamsin_ , Kenzi sighs, shaking her head. She watches the blonde try the handle of the large wooden door they’d come upon. Kenzi chuckles softly watching her friend struggle- the door being stuck shut tight. Having raised Tamsin, at least in this lifecycle, Kenzi saw so much of herself in the blonde. All that snark and bravado, all that closing down, all that booze and sarcasm- all of it just a front. Just a mask, a way of shutting everything out, so all those feelings she thinks will compromise her don’t get loose. Tamsin could never guess that, as Kenzi’s learned, all those things that she thinks make her weak are really her greatest assets.

Kenzi watches as Tamsin winds up and throws a shoulder into the door, which finally opens with a creaky bang and pop. “This looks good…” Tamsin says, walking in a surveying the room.

Kenzi looks at the girl she raised, all grown up, and knows that Tamsin is the last loose end she needs to tie up before she leaves. “Tam-tam?”

“…Nice sized room, really aloof, you’ll hear someone if they’re coming, that’s for sure…” The blonde walks around, checking it out.

“Little T?” Kenzi tries again.

Tamsin looks out the window, distracted. “…Yeah, just keep your weapon on you- you have a good  vantage point to look out from here and-“

“TAMSIN!” Kenzi snaps, and the valkyrie finally turns to attention, looking at her now. “Listen, I have something I need to say…”

Tamsin furrows her brow. “Okay…”

“Listen, this is important...” Kenzi takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “I need you to take care of Bo.”

Tamsin gives her a weird look. “Uh, what do you mean?”

“Listen, just- I need you to watch out for her, okay?” Kenzi begins to think of what she’s going to have to do, sacrificing herself, and what Bo will be like after she does. Kenzi thinks about the pain it will cause and starts to tear up, fighting it back as best she can.

Tamsin sees Kenzi struggling. Confused she says, “Kenz, it’s okay. Just chill and-“

“-Don’t interrupt me young lady!” She snaps, but smiles when she sees Tamsin’s concerned face. “Sorry. Force of habit, kiddo. I keep forgetting you’re all grown up now…”

Kenzi takes another deep breath, “Okay, listen. I see a lot of things, when people thinks no one is looking. And one of those things I've seen, is the way you look at her. At Bo. I see the way you have her back, and protect her. You always have, even back when you were Officer Slamsin of the Bitch division. I saw it then but since you’ve been back … it’s just so clear. You don’t _just_ care about Bo- you love her.”

Tamsin snorts. She shifts her weight, uncomfortable, and crosses her arms, trying to compose herself a bit. “Hate to break it to you Kenz, but not everyone around here has drank the Kool-Aid. Yeah I care about Bo. We all do- but that doesn’t mean I’m, like _, in love with her_ or something...”

Kenzi smiles a knowing smile. She can tell when Tamsin is lying. She raised her and she knows when she’s hiding something. The slight flush of her cheeks, the way she refuses to look her in the eye, it’s all there right now, screaming a truth the Valkyrie isn’t ready to admit to. But Kenzi knows Tamsin loves Bo and that she would do anything to protect Bo, and that’s why Kenzi has to get the rest out.

“Listen, Lauren loves Bo and will do what she thinks is best for Bo to protect her, and Dyson can and will too but that’s not what I’m talking about. Bo needs someone to _care for her_. Someone to actually listen to her when she’s upset- not just hear her and go on with whatever they think is best. She also needs someone to tell her to cut the crap and to get her shit together, not just go along obediently with her every whim. You can do that. You can do _both_. You know how to give her what she _actually_ needs, not just want she thinks she wants or what you want.”

Tamsin looks unsure. She’s staring at Kenzi with a look that’s part embarrassment and part confusion. After a moment, she smiles again. That fake smile that Kenzi sees through in an instant.

“Listen, Kenz, I don’t know what all this is about but all _that stuff_ -that’s more your department than mine. That’s why Bo needs _YOU_ , Not me… She definitely does not _me_ …” she looks down for a moment, then back up again. There’s a slight flash of sadness, which Tamsin quickly replaces with a plastic smile. Kenzi watches as she puts on her best face and attempts to lighten the mood. “Anyway, we’re going to get through this, all of us. No need to worry so much- Bo’s can take care of herself anyway…”

Kenzi doesn’t return the smile. “No, Tamsin, I need you to _promise_ me. Promise me, that if something happens to me, that you’ll take care of her.”

Tamsin looks at her weird, like she’s seen a ghost. Unbeknownst to Kenzi, Bo’s said almost the exact same thing to Tamsin at one point, about the little human herself.

“ _Hello_? Tamsin did you hear me? I said _promise me…”_ Kenzi realizes she needs this. She needs this promise, not only for Bo, or for Tamsin, but for herself. She needs to know that Bo will be okay. Needs that tiny bit of validation that her sacrifice won’t be in vain.

Tamsin’s face twists into something painful. An internal battle, like she’s trying to keep things some things on the inside in, and the things on the outside, out. “Kenz…You don’t understand what you’re asking... I-“

“ _Tamsin please_!” Kenzi gasps. “Just do this. Do this _for me_. Just promise me.”

“Fine! Fine..” She looks to the ceiling and shrugs, then looks down and off to her right, not meeting Kenzi’s gaze. “I promise. I’ll take care of her…” she mumbles.

“Look me in the eyes, and promise it.”

“ _I said I promise okay_!?” Tamsin snaps, looking right at Kenzi. “I promise.” She sighs deeply, an shuffles her feet a bit, “Geez, you’d think the world was ending or something…” She grumbles, grabs her sword and  turns and walks towards the door. She pauses and turns back to face Kenzi, “You need to stay here, keep safe. I’ll be back to get you when the coast is clear, alright?”

Kenzi just nods, trying to keep the tears from her eyes.

“Good,” Tamsin says. She moves to go, and then just before she’s out of sight, she stops and looks back again. She smiles, and it’s a genuine one and Kenzi can’t help but see her as the little girl she raised again. “Hey, it’s going to be okay Momz. You taught me well,” She smirks, and then heads out of sight and off to battle.

Kenzi turns away from the door and finally lets the tears she’s been holding  back, fall. She sits down, and lets the reality of what’s going to happen wash over her. She’s going to die. She doesn’t know when or if she’s going to see her little family again. If it goes according to plan, Bo will find her. Kenzi knows if there is a way- and sometimes even if there isn’t- Bo will find her.

_And if not…?_

She smiles and wipes her face. She stands up, and walks to the mirror on the far side of the room. She looks hard at herself. This time she doesn’t act surprised to see the brave woman in front of her. That woman in the mirror, she knows what to do- what needs to get done. _That_ woman is done running.

… _And if not, if Bo can’t bring me back, I’m still going to do it. I need to do this because this is what will save Bo, and the world. This is what needs to happen. This is fate. This is prophecy_.

“Destiny. Booya.”


End file.
